I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
