I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
