Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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