break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
nutella sex= disaster
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
