I'm pants shitting drunk right now
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
