Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
