no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
