I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My vagina just recognized that song.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
