New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
