I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
