She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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