I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
