this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
