The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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