Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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