We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize