she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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