you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
