Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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