Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
foreskin is a definite game changer
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
