My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i love accidental penises.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Bring me that man meat
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
