I want to walk on stilts...naked
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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