I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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