she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
