So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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