her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
