It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have so many feelings about this burrito
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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