Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
