'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
