new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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