I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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