He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
