ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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