Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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