waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
