If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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