my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
