Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
