Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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