she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
