We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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