watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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