I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
