im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
