As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
