My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
