i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
