I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
