You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
