In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
