he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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