3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
