I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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