stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize