Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
