apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
