this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
