Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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