Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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