Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
