You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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