by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We don't watch enough power rangers
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
