I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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