They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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